FOX NEWS
The FOX News 'Story That's Not Really A Story' Story
Click headline to launch media
Pornography Problem
Neil Cavuto's penetrating expose' into America's declining morality
Rush on the American Spine
Rush Limbaugh Essay: "The Great American Leakage - What's Happened to Our Collective Spine, and Who Has Liquefied It?"
Great Sacrifices
A review of great Conservatives and how they've served our nation
Bush/Cheney Campaign
Exclusive: Catch George W. Bush's campaign ads streaming here
You've got questions. We've got more.
The Most Powerful Smell in News
Ben Stein - Latest Author to Equate His Opinions With America Itself
the point from which most successful conservative authors begin. The day you can look yourself in the mirror and say "my opinions represent America, therefore opinions that differ from mine are anti-American," is the day you've become senile enough to write a successful, right-wing rag.
When confronted with this premise, Stein quipped, "what in God's name are you talking about?" Indeed, Ben has arrived.
Even Die-Hard Republicans Admit it's Inevitable
Ahright, mkay? Now look:
There's some pretty seedy types out there, mkay? sayin' some pretty ridiculous stuff about the President's economy, ahright? an' I'm gettin' a little perturbed, mkay? with the whole anti-Bush thing just 'cause he's not creatin' a billion news jobs a day, ah-right?
Bush has created many high-end manufacturing jobs
A GROUP OF MILITARY FLUNKIES IS WILLING TO SLANDER KERRY
Dwayne "Bubba" Dwyer (left) and Charlie "Bubba" Booker, both of whom are actual veterans, call John Kerry a liar.
New Ads Feature Vets, None of Whom Actually Served With Kerry, Smearing the Democratic Candidate
There Was One Who Served With Kerry, but He Changed His Mind (Translation: He's a Flip-Flopper)
Karl Rove was visibly upset when the most damning testimony of these slanderous ads was completely retracted by Kerry's former commander.
Jerome Corsi, a Fretard who relishes his "free and robust" expression (see below), and Lieutenant Commander George Elliott, the man whose now-retracted affadavit established the basis for this latest round of mud-slinging, put the smear ad together last month. Elliot, however, now says he made a "terrible mistake." [more]
Economy Healthier Than It's Been in Twenty Weeks
Once you've lost the ability to distinguish objectivity from your own views, you've arrived at
70 to 80
(Neoconservative)
130+
(Liberal/Civil Libertarian)
by at least five to ten percentage points.
Ridge Reveals
Three-Year Old
Terrorist Plot!
In a genuinely righteous and wholly apolitical move, Homeland Defense Secretary Tom Ridge Elevates the Terrorist Threat in DC, NYC area to Orange.
Be scared. Be very scared. Especially if Communist John Kerry defeats Bush in November. In fact, it's a good idea to start learning to speak Arabic now - just in case Bush loses.
John Kerry and John Edwards wrap up their convention in Boston, MA
All material herein © 2001 - 2004
Original Faux News Logo © 2001 ('nuff said)
'Spinner' Logo © 2003
This site is in no way associated with the Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation or the Fox News Channel. All material herein is intended as parody. Any similarities in format or "personnel" are purely satirical. If you're looking for a good case of the Big Hammer, then sue away. I could use the material.
For a lengthy period of time this month Dr. Corsi has completely forgotten about his impotence. Mrs. Corsi, however, has not.
Corsi on Islam: "a worthless, dangerous Satanic religion"
Corsi on Catholicism: "Boy buggering in both Islam and Catholicism is okay with the Pope as long as it isn't reported by the liberal press"
Corsi on Muslims: "RAGHEADS are Boy-Bumpers as clearly as they are Women-Haters -- it all goes together"
Corsi on "John F*ing Commie Kerry" : "After he married TerRAHsa, didn't John Kerry begin practicing Judiasm? He also has paternal grandparents that were Jewish. What religion is John Kerry?"
Corsi on Senator "FAT HOG" Clinton: "Anybody ask why HELLary couldn't keep BJ Bill satisfied? Not lesbo or anything, is she?"
[source]
Scooter Libby Befriends Rush Limbaugh's Maid
For the past several months I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby, seen here on Dextroamphetamine, has been conducting business with Rush Limbaugh's cleaning staff. "I can't sleep nowadays," confided Scooter, who is under investigation for the felonious act of revealing a CIA operative to CNN reporter Robert Novak last summer. Although loath to call himself a "drug addict," Libby admitted [more]
Democrats Await Post-Convention Bounce
The Presidential Apologist
The Outing of Mohammad Naeem Noor Khan
You ever have one of those human days? You know, when you actually make a minor slip-up, and get this unexplicable urge to start singing that Britney Spears song that goes, "Oops! I did it again!"?
Well, apparently President Bush and his Cabinet are also human
beings, and have made a teensy-weensy, very minor little slip-up. They - quite innocently, I might caution - outed yet another secret agent. This time, however, the agent wasn't an American ... [more]
Damn! Democrats Don't Fall for Porter Goss Trap
I Never Made Dad Happy Enough
liberals. But when Mr. Bush flip-flops, you can bet your bottom dollar it's for a good cause, such as his latest position on Muqtada Al Sadr. [more]
Homosexual Democratic Governor Gives FOX
News the 2004 Version of "Condit-Gate"
Republican Attempt to Get the Democrats to Appear Uncooperative Falls Flat
Tenet Getting Back to Old Lifestyle
Making runs for Bugsy Calhoune and writing letters to Lady Heroin highlight George Tenet's daily routine nowadays.
"It's all been so liberatin'," Tenet told FOX. "Ever since that day when I told
my family I wasn't goin' home no more my life has been one big vacation!"
In an attempt to get the Democrats to block his nomination, therefore appearing obstructionist in the "bipartisan" war on terror, George Bush (okay, it was Karl Rove, but we digress) announced Porter Goss as his choice to inherit the CIA's reins from George Tenet. Unfortunately, it seems, the Democrats aren't falling for it and will let Goss' nomination pass.
Non-Flip-Flopping President Reverts Back to Calling Al Sadr a 'Terrorist' After the
Decision to Change
the Iraqi's Status to
'Friend' Yielded No
Cooperation
There's nothing more satisfying than watching someone inflict pain on your enemies. I've said it before, and I'll say it again -- I'm all for a good public flogging, especially if it's of flip-flopping
Non Flip-Flopping, Steadfast President Takes Ambiguous Stand Against Ads He Financed
President Bush and his advisors are forced to retreat from their current political path of smearing John Kerry, but continue to reassure one another this backtracking is not "flip-flopping."
Related Stories:
:: Cabinet proud Bush able to properly repeat "Kerry ought to be proud of his military record." Sources tell FOX that particular statement was meant to infer Kerry's not proud of his own service; "I put that one in," - Rove
:: George Elliot and fellow swift boat vets thrilled to be immune from charges of inconsistency. "We're just glad no one is holding us accountable for being more wishy-washy than the Gulf of Mexico during hurricane season," admitted Elliot, whose statements five years ago completely contradict those he's making now. [more]
Joe Scarborough Celebrates Three Years Suspicion-Free
To the surprise of his fans, Hume flashed his unbiased, Fair and Balanced smile this evening while reading the line "He'll step down November 15."
Flash! Hume Can Still Smile
Alert FOX News viewers were treated to a most unusual site today: Brit Hume, showing he can still smile with the best of them.
McGreevey, seen here with.... well, what do you know? Could it be another closet homosexual? We Report. You Decide.
NJ Governor James McGreevey has come out of the closet. FOX News is thrilled to finally have something to distract viewers from Bush's pathetic performance.
Related Stories:
:: Rush Limbaugh busy at home practicing the word "beard" without thinking of his own wife, Marta.
:: Ann Coulter said to be "jealous" upon hearing McGreevey's phrase "sex with another man."
British sources have learned that Joe has been busy celebrating his third anniversary "suspicion-free" after escaping blame for the murder of Lori Klausutis. "I bet Gary Condit wishes he was a Republican," snorted Scarborough. Ms. Klausutis was a young immigrant whose mysterious death in Joe's NW Florida office in 2001 escaped media attention despite Scarborough leaving office and getting a divorce at the same time. [more]
Bush struggles to pull off a brilliant act: manages to feign disdain for anti-Kerry ad he actually helped finance. (AP)
Terrorist that is, Ally, that is to say, Thug, make that Rebel leader Al-Sadr comes to agreement with Iraq's Top Ayatollah.
Related Stories
:: FOX News leads corporate news field in the downplaying (completely ignoring) of Bush's policy changes
:: John Gibson finally gets the pronunciation of "Al-Sistani" down; credits "two whole days without a drink."
President Unsure Who Al-Sadr is, Anway
"What do I care?" shrugged the jovial Texan, quickly adding, "Al Sadder ain't that guy what exploded the World Trade Center, is he?"
Solid, Non-Waffling Bush Cabinet Thrilled Negotiations With Terrorist Holy Man Al-Sadr Lead to Peace Talks
Anti-Journalism Spotlight:Another dubious story FOX News will ceaselessly highlight while pretending to condemn
Shemp Hannity, seen here with Laura "The Unloved" Ingraham, assures us the story he's about to break on film footage of John Kerry having sex with Bigfoot is "as authentical as George Bush's victory in 2000."
Remember - it may be a total lie, but our slogan is "We Report, You Decide," NOT "We check our facts before reporting them." [more]
Down-to-Earth, Hollywood-Hating Republicans Put on Equally Humble Convention
NYC welcomes Republicans with bouquets of roses & chocolates
"We haven't seen this warm a reception
since we invaded...
I mean liberated Baghdad" - Dick Cheney.
Bush, showing his support for NYC by attending a tee-ball game in Omaha. The president is expected to spend a whole 23 minutes actually at the convention itself.
despite having formally disinvited Giuliani to the 1996 GOP convention because of his endorsement of
Mario Cuomo.
Non-flip-flopping Republican Party invites Rudy Giuliani to speak,
Convention Focuses on Compassion While Alienating Log Cabin Republicans and Victims of Sexual Harrassment
:: Presenting an altogether non-flip-flopping agenda, the GOP spotlights its most liberal members (and a Democrat) while relegating its radical right speakers to the pre-6 p.m. slots.
"Hee hee...thank God Daddy was prez on 9/11...hee hee":: Jenna and Barbara Bush proud to be daughters of a man who engages in a war he doesn't think we can win, but then decides yes, we can win.
:: Non-speculating Republicans speculate the USA would be speaking Arabic at this point were it not for Bush in the White House.
:: Convention goers assure one another Gore would've foolishly waited less than seven minutes to react to news of the attacks of September 11.
