FOX - The Most Powerful Smell in News

DJIA 10,583.92 +3.78 NASDAQ 2029.40 -3.75 S & P 500 1144.4 +.03

All material herein © 2001 - 2004

Original Faux News Logo © 2001 'Spinner' Logo © 2003

This site is in no way associated with the Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation or the Fox News Channel. All material herein is intended as parody. Any similarities in format or "personnel" are purely satirical. If you're looking for a good case of the Big Hammer, then sue away. I could use the material.

This site is not associated with the 20th Century Fox Film Corp or Fox News Channel. All material herein is as parody.

The Most Powerful Smell in News.

Today's Features

Osama Not "October" Surprise

"More like July or August"
- Li'l Dick Cheney

- White House Press Secretary Scott McLellan characterizes recent claims that Osama Bin Laden is already in U.S. possession as "manufactured by folks who couldn't possibly know it's true."

- President Bush periodically reminded Osama Bin Laden not "the evil man we caught in a spider hole in Tikrit."

RELATED STORIES:

> Richard Miniter relieved his book Losing Bin Laden won't end up being hilarious, ironic critique of itself.

> Ari Fleischer: "I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days."

American-funded TV Marti set to broadcast David Brinkley's live interview of Osama Bin Laden the moment he's caught.

"Unprincipled? Look Who's Talking" Animation Now on Hundreds of Computers Worldwide

>> Flash animation the product of over eight hours of minimally difficult but fun work, and nearly ten dollars of beer, chips, and dip.

>> Hate mail quantities reflect a real nerve-touching event; webmaster almost proud his mediocre effort 'paid off.'

Tooth Fairy -
White or Black?

FOX News presents a completely apolitical debate between two black men over an ultra-important detail: what color was the Tooth Fairy?

Hannity's New Book Hammers Home "Liberals Are Evil" Formula
Next Book Will "Slam Liberals" For "Hating President Bush"

A wholly consistent ideologue, Shemp says he doesn't hate liberals, adding, "I only hate evil people."

President Who Supports Nation Building but is Against Nation Building, Who Claims America is a Free Nation but Wants to Curtail Homosexuals' Rights, and Who is a Conservative but Has Run Up the Nation's Greatest Deficits Ever Points Out that John Kerry is an Inconsistent Politician.

Bush, who doesn't want this year's race to be a nasty affair, got nasty last week when he presented his unifying theme to a group of exclusively Republican governors.

After spending 20 seconds stressing he's above denigrating his opponents, Mr. Bush denigrated his opponents for over twelve and a half minutes. "We're not gonna to be pointing fingers," he emphasized, adding, "did I mention the Senator from Massachusetts?"

Evil Witch May Get Off

Martha Stewart may as well have
hopped on her broom and flown
away - the biggest charge against
her has been dropped.

Some say this is a shameful
development in the trial of a
super-rich, aggressive, non-passive woman who also happens to be a liberal and a Democrat.

We Report. You Decide.

Aristide Escapes
Haitian Ex-President
Can't Cope With
the Knowledge
That Clinton Put
Him in Power.

The Bush White House may no longer worry that it can't find enough troops to constitute a real deployment to the nation of Haiti.

"'Sall Clinton's fault anyhow," said a defiant Bush last week in a planned ad hoc cabinet meeting. "'Sides, don't matter anyways," remarked President Bush, "'cause we ain't gonna get involved with a African conflict right now anyways."

Non-Christian Fantasy Wins Too Many Oscars

Typically liberal. Typically Hollywood.

The Oscars have awarded the third installment of The Lord of the Rings Trilogy a gaggle of Oscars, including for Best Picture.

"I think they're doing it because they know they don't stand a chance should they release Part IV this year to compete against The Passion of the Christ," advised FOX News' entertainment chief, Shitturd Smith.

Bush not overly concerned with Haiti at the moment, says "not gonna worry about the African continent right now."