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Survivors Grateful the World is so Much Safer Now That Hussein is in Custody

- Iraqis take a break from welcoming occupying troops with bouquets of roses in order to help rescue the injured

- Blast occurred on St. Patrick's Day; some of Bill Clinton's ancestors were Irish; Rove sees promising opportunity for 'connecting the dots'

RELATED STORIES:

> Experts suspect Spain's angry, communist voters encouraged terrorists to piece together a meticulous, half-ton explosive charge, disguise it within an automobile, case the hotel for opportune security windows, place the rigged car an effective distance from the establishment, and successfully detonate the car bomb within 36 hours. Yep, 36 hours.

By Neil Cavuto

What event from this week's top news stories did John Kerry's treasonous demeanor precipitate?

Results will appear in next week's edition. Vote as often as you like.

"Thank God I realized the format of FOX News," admitted Hume, who nearly came off as confrontational by actually playing the videotaped lie to Vice President "L'il" Dick Cheney himself. Luckily, Hume quickly turned the viewing into an astonishingly stupid spin.

"Sir?" began a Fair and Balanced™ Hume, "weren't you really trying to say that the existence of Iraq's WMDs would hinge entirely upon the U.N.'s cooperation with the Bush adminsitration?"

Cheney, who initially faltered at such an imbecilic angle, immediately caught on, and responded, "Uh, sure. Yeah... uh, those WMDs disappeared the moment we dissed the U.N."

Certainly, it was a close call, but Brit will not soon forget the day when he nearly spoke the truth. "Fortunately the seventy-three cubic yards of brain in my skull kicked in, and I still have my job today."

Ten Simple Talking Points for Defeating the Evil Liberals

In 1998, Bill Clinton did not attempt to asssassinate Osama bin Laden by sending nearly eighty cruise missiles at his training camp in Afghanistan.
After nearly killing bin Laden by sending nearly eighty cruise missiles at his training camp in Afghanistan in 1998, Bill Clinton was not forced by grumbling Republicans to pursue the death of bin Laden via more bureaucratic means.
Liberals did not warn that invading Iraq would elevate terrorist activities to the levels we're seeing today.
Al Qaeda was not able to attack Spain so horrendously because the U.S. let them regroup while it pursued a phony war in Iraq.
Since assuming office in 2001 George Bush has not changed his position on fiscal responsibility, nation-building, legislative pork projects, the First and Fourth Amendments of the U.S. Constitution, or the importance of his own military "service."
The world is not any more dangerous since we caught Saddam Hussein (remember, it's a safer world without Hussein in power).
Soldiers are not serving in Iraq without standard protective gear, such as bullet-proof vests, armored Humvees, and bullets.
Dick Cheney was not the CEO of Halliburton, who has won nearly every non-bid contract in Iraq.
John Kerry did not leave Vietnam because after being injured three times in combat his commander required him to go.
Karl Rove is not a bloated baby who outed a CIA operative simply to avenge Ambassador Wilson.

Just remember these simple 10 Rules and the liberals can't touch you.